What Would You Do?

My friend Felicia (not her real name) was sleeping when she woke up to have a bathroom break. Sleepily she reached out to touch her husband Tony (not his real name) on the bed beside her but he was not there!
She went downstairs towards the kitchen and froze when she saw her husband of ten years banging the new maid on the floor!

She quickly packed an overnight bag and rushed to my house screaming “I’m going to kill him! I’m going to kill him!”

I managed to calm her down enough to tell me what happened.

She was more pained by the fact that he “did it in our matrimonial home ” and said he would have probably had sex with her in her bed if she was not at home!

I asked her what hurt her the most- that he was sleeping with the maid or that he did it in their matrimonial home?

She said doing it in the house was adding insult to injury and he had no respect for her (obviously) or he would have waited for her to be out of the house and then she would not have had to face the humiliation!

She spent a week with me during which she tried to pick up the pieces but, oh yes- it was not easy.

I preached forgiveness and told her that having been caught out like that, he will be “a good boy” and turn a new leaf! She disagreed and said “a dog will Always be a dog!”

What would you do if you were the one that came home to find your married partner banging the maid/ houseboy?

Let me know your thoughts before I tell you how it all played out.

(Post your comments on the comments section at the end of this write up or if you have a story to tell, send it to askauntygrace@gmail.com).
AUNTY GRACE

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13 Responses

  1. Lola Ibrahim says:

    Whao! Some men are dogs. Well what can I say. A man like this may never repent. First know that you hv the wrong guy as your husband. If I were in her shoes, o will make sure he saw me before ever jetting out of the house. On coming bk to the hse, I’ll hv the maid sent out of the house. Well that is if she is not already pregnant for him, cos no one knows how long the banging has occurred. Some guy may ask for your forgiveness, some might result to an egocentric guilt. If you hv put your strength together enough, don’t say anything to him, don’t bring up the topic unless he does. Pretend you hv forgiven him and carry on with yourself having it at the back of your mind that you are with the wrong guy. Take it up from there!!

  2. IhuChi says:

    A woman has to foght to keep her family to forgive him and work things out with her husband. Go counseling. Get rid of that maid.

  3. Emeka henry says:

    I will maintain my cool and pretend nothing ever happened. They plan wat next to do.

  4. Aunty Ify says:

    Hmmm, young couples and housemaid wahala. Young women must desist from taking young women as maids. These ladies are flesh and blood. They can find your husband attractive and lure him. It will only take personal spiritual discipline for the man not to fall. On the other hand, woe betide the wife if it is her husband that is attracted to the maid as in this case. My advice:1. Don’t make too much noise or fuss about the matter.This will make both of them fear you.
    2.Discretely prepare to send her packing seriously.
    3.Spring the send-off surprise on her when your husband is not around.
    4.Before departure, bring in two boys to beat her up and injure her if you can’t do it yourself. That will be a reminder to her for life.
    5.Collect everything you ever gave her or whatever is in her possession she didn’t come with including phone numbers( your’s and your husband’s or any of your friends and family members).
    6.Send her back to whoever or wherever she came from with a warning that this is only a sample of what will happen to her if she ever tried to contact your husband.
    7.Make sure the news of her act reach her family before she gets there.
    Even if she’s a satanic agent, she will think twice.
    I know this things, am talking from experience.

  5. unique says:

    Before now, I would have acted like Felicia. But now, I will not create a scene before my maid, but will confront him later. It is his response that will determine my actions.

  6. Mayaki M B says:

    These and worst things do happen to us every day. They are becoming daily occurrence.

    There is no need for the wife to pack out of her matrimonial home for him to have a field day with the house maid. The first thing is to leave for a friends/ confidant house so that she can regain her composure. Next is to return to her husband to ask question him on why he had to do this dispeakable act. From here the husband will apologise, as usual, blame the devil and extract a firm promise this won’t ever repeat itself again. The next step is that the wife has to do some introspection. What is it that has made the love for her to wane so much as to this type of things to happen to her. At what point and what happened did she norice that the love and respect of the husband started dwindling. At the end of the exercise, she will be able to know how to handle her home. The next step will be to send the house maid away from where she came even though it was her husband’s fault. She should be watchful next time.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Be calm and watch them and advice them not to stop as you want to learn what it is that is different from his love making with you Only when they both cannot perform in my presence will I give both a good whip starting with the man , then the girl will run away from there taking nothing with her if she was all naked good for her. She will tell her own story. The man I bet you will be so guilty that all he wants to do is apologize. You knowing what men are made of will not want to break a home you have built for his foolishness and lust.

  8. Iyabo says:

    Hmmm.
    For us bible believing christians, the Bible allows divorce in cases of adultry and abuse ( including emotional & mental abuse). In my opinion, her husband’s actions clearly qualify.
    I would move on…

  9. Iyabo says:

    For us bible believing christians, the Bible allows divorce in cases of adultry and abuse (including mental & emotional abuse).
    In my opinion, her husband’s actions clearly qualify.
    I would move on.

  10. Fr. Richard. j. Enegbuma says:

    First I will be annoyed. Secondly I will scold my wife which I do not have. Thirdly I will forgive her if nothing else will happen.

  11. Stephen Enakhena says:

    Packing out is least option, because automatically you have surrender your home to the marriage intruder. Step 1,; say nothing & do nothing at that moment. Step 2; Report to your priest (even if your husband is not attending church with U). Step 3, Quit the Maid.
    Act on the advice of priest, let divorce be the last option & pray.
    Solution & wisdom comes from Christ Jesus, He said come to me you laden with heavy yoke I will give you rest. He will turn the situation around for your good, If He allows it happen & show it to you, He will make it a turning point in your union for good with spiritual reinforcement.
    Above all in all things give glory to HIM.

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  13. D'marie says:

    Aunty Grace. This is a very bitter pill to swallow. My human side is to walk away and never look back. Daming him to hell and back. My Christian side is to pray earnestly to God for direction as to how to deal with the situation. People who do this is need of a closer walk with God and an understanding that only God himself can help; because it is an illness. ( that is if he really wants to be helped) It may be that we would never be in an intimate relationship ever again but forgiveness and healing makes living so much better and longer. As I said before, this is indeed a really, really bitter pill to swallow. Peace!!

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