THE ART OF TOASTING DURING COVID-19

The Lockdown, occasioned by the Covid-19 pandemic has made some people to devise ingenious ways of doing things. Nothing is the same anymore and survival has taken on a new meaning.
While sadly, some have been victims of domestic violence, some, like my friend Blessing ( not her real name)has found ways to cut down entertainment costs that used to take a chunk of her earnings every month.
From asking any visitor who came to her new and tastefully furnished apartment “ would you like some champagne?” she now offers a moderately priced vodka( served in a small shot glass). Often, that’s all you get- one shot
I’m a fan of vodka and tequila believing them to be much “healthier” ( if there’s any such thing, so feeling bored one evening, I decided to pay her a visit.
Now I have to tell you, Blessing is the go- to friend when you are feeling low and in need of some pick- me- up time. She will have you cracking up in less than five minutes and she has this uncanny ability of knowing just when I need cheering up!
As I sat in her beautiful apt, admiring the expensive pieces of furniture, she blurted out
“Aunty Gee, what’s going on? Spill it out!” I replied “Nothing dear. I’m just admiring your taste here. Your apartment is gorgeous!”
In truth, something was on my mind and I wasn’t even sure i knew what! Isn’t that why I stopped by, to laugh and be happy?
Blessing was one of God s blessings to me as a friend. Very frank and respectful all at once. A very intelligent and articulate attorney, she always had me cracking up whenever we shared stories – even mundane stories about every day happenings.
Bringing out an expensive bottle of vodka and what she called the “one- shot glass”( you only get to be served ONE shot- no top up!) she said
“Aunty, this is a special vodka, because it’s you”. Then bringing out another much cheaper I wont-be- caught- dead- drinking vodka, she added” see this one, I reserve for guys who come here and expect me to serve them expensive drinks. In this Covid time, I don’t think so! We must learn to save and be prudent in our spending or we will starve to death-assuming COVID doesn’t get us first!”
Then began the stories that had me cracking up with laughter!
“Aunty Grace, please tell me. Is it right for a guy, to come here , trying to toast( meaning to court) me, without bringing a bottle of wine and then expect me to serve him an expensive drink? Tell me, is it ok if I say i have no drink to offer?”
“ Why didn’t you just offer him the cheap vodka then? You act cheap, you get cheap!” I replied.
“ What happened to the chivalry? Did COVID take that away too?
Couldn’t he have come with a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of wine? What happened to old school courting ?”she asked.
I blamed it on COVID -19 and the economy. Maybe he couldn’t afford either.
“ Do you know what got me really upset? “ she continued “ he had barely sat down when he looked around and said
“Your flat is beautiful! Bring out the champagne !
No other drink should be served in such a lovely flat!”
“As I got up and walked away to put away the cheap vodka I had brought out to serve him, he sprinted up and tried to grab me!”
“Aunty Grace you should have seen us running round my flat in his attempt to get hold of me! Have you seen a hen being chased by a cockerel?
Aunty, I assure you, Tom & Jerry would have been anxious! She proceeded to demonstrate the “chase” while i was rolling on the floor with laughter!
To this day, all I need to cheer me up, is to conjure up the picture of what we now refer to as
“The Great Chase”!
By the way, did I say I had something on my mind…..

Aunty Grace