So what exactly is love?
It’s St Valentine’s Day today, a day set aside to celebrate love and lovers the entire world over, but as we celebrate, what exactly is this thing called love? Is it sex, giving of gifts, feeling butterflies or what? Unlike the English language which has only one definition for love, Latin which has five words, and explains the different types of love. We’ll take a look at some things that love is not, and end with the essence of love.
Is it sex? Not at all. In a strongly sensual age, sex has become commonplace, and many confuse sex with love. It is possible to have one without the other, but the greatest lover is one who chooses to love without consummating the relationship, especially if they are not married. Waiting until the right time to do that is the best way to say I love you.
However, in a committed relationship like marriage, sex is the most beautiful gift given by the creator to mankind. It has the power to cement two hearts together, even as it can destroy a couple who choose to profane this wonderful gift.
Can it be bought with gifts? True love can never be for sale, even though a lover will always give something. So as you give flowers, cards, chocolates, and all during this valentine remember that giving gifts should never be the foundation of a relationship. Never be with someone simply because of what you can get from that person, but for what you can give to them, and add to their lives. You see humans are meant to be loved, not used.
Love is a caring about that special someone in your life so much that you think always of them, and do what is best for them. As Beverly Haye once put it, “The most difficult person in the world to love is a selfish person, who thinks only and always of himself, and no one else.”
Conversely, it means that the easiest person in the world is a selfless love is a selfless person. A person in love is selfless, thinking more of the beloved that himself. The way a mother thinks nothing of going hungry just so her kids can eat and get an education. Michael Bolton captured this desire inherent in the female folk for love in his remake of the song “When a man loves a woman.”