A young woman calls a pharmacy to ask if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. The clerk explains that many mothers figure out an infant’s weight by weighing themselves while holding the baby on an adult scale and then subtracting their own...
I stopped buying makeup when I wandered into a department store recently and noticed that the makeup sales ladies are starting to dress like research scientists. They’re back there with slide rules and computerized skin charts. And you know they probably didn’t finish high school, but...
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M....
Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they’re off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into...
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: “Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?” “No.” “So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t sure the man was dead,...
A boy never knew the parents were being smart.We were watching this commercial on television. One day the family was watching this commercial on television. The commercial said: “If you’re having problems with your mama whipping you, call this 800 number.” the young man quietly...
A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a piece of cork up his anus. ”Why do you have a cork up your anus?” ”Well, it’s a long story. But one day I was walking on the beach and I tripped over a...
A young woman calls a pharmacy to ask if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. The clerk explains that many mothers figure out an infant’s weight by weighing themselves while holding the baby on an adult scale and then subtracting their own...
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion. God said, “This person will cook for...
A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, “Don’t worry – we have plenty of those where I come from.” The Englishman offered...
